If you are in a delicate moment and you are having a bad time, do not be discouraged, you are going to leave this one. Surely you have already overcome worse situations.
No matter how gray you see life in this moment, inside you know that everything will happen and that soon you will remember only one valuable lesson. You may feel great anxiety for everything to happen now, now. We can not guarantee a specific period of time to overcome a breakup, but we can give you some tips and suggestions on how to overcome a love break to make the process somewhat easier and a little less painful.
How to overcome a love break
breaking off. According to various psychological and social studies, the human being goes through different phases or emotional states when faced with a love break. These phases are usually:
Desperation for answers
The impulse to know is exhausting and can come at the expense of rational thoughts and behaviors. You must understand why this happened. You look at things that your ex said on several occasions that you see that they contradict the rupture, and you hold them now as if they were a gospel. However, somewhere inside you, you also have moments of clarity. You are likely to move back and forth between the nebulous disbelief, the daily rediscovery, moment by moment, of the magnitude of your loss and flashes of painful clarity that, of course, reveals that everything is over. Pain, disorganization and confusion can become everything you think after the day. But initially, you are still driven to understand what happened, at all costs. The desperation to make sense of something so discordant forces you to debate with friends, family, co-workers, even strangers, about why the relationship ended, while justifying the reasons why you should not do so.
It can not be true. This is not happening. You just can not be without your ex. It seems that you have put everything you are in this relationship. It has been your world, your life. You can not accept that it's over. You bottle up the last hope to save it, even at the expense of your well-being. You postpone your need to afflict its end, because it is too painful to face it. In doing so, it temporarily derails the grieving process by replacing it with an unrealistic hope that the relationship can still be salvaged.
You are willing to do anything to avoid accepting that it is over. You will be a better and more attentive partner. You can not take responsibility for everything. Somewhere inside, you know it. Everything that has been wrong, you will do well. The idea of being without your ex is so intolerable that it will only make your pain go away when you try again, no matter what the cost. Of course, it's not logical at this point (and you probably should not be operating with heavy machinery). You are standing on the edge of what feels like an abyss, trying not to fall into the unknown. You cling to whatever hope you can, to avoid losing what you have come to depend on, for better or for worse. However, during this phase, you are placing the full burden of repairing, maintaining and healing a relationship with yourself. It's as if the responsibility to make it work this time was yours and yours alone. Try with all your strength during this phase not to lose sight of the fact that both participants in the relationship contributed to its end.
The negotiation can only be briefly distracted from the experience of the loss. Reality inevitably comes down again and again. Also, when you negotiate, you are trying to take responsibility for why the relationship does not work, which may give you the illusion that you have control over it, perpetuating the belief that it is salvageable as long as you can continue to perform superhuman acts.
Because the pain is so intolerable, you may be able to convince your ex to try again (this may not be the first break with this sentimental partner). It will temporarily relieve the agony of abstinence. However, despite your best efforts, you can not take the relationship alone. We regret to tell you that it probably will not end well this time either. Unfortunately, you may have to go through this breakup and reconciliation process more than once before you are absolutely convinced that it is time to let it go.
Initially, you may not be able to connect with feelings of anger. Breaking down makes you fall into the unknown, which can evoke fear and an immobilizing state. The fact that you are on the path of regretting the loss is a sign that you are working. Indicate that somewhere within you is creating enough internal discomfort to help you change your perspective on what the relationship has really been like, and may force you to make proactive changes, if you are prepared to do so. Fear, at that point, triumphs over anger. Therefore, when anger is established, it is because you have released part of your fear, at least temporarily. When you can access anger, the experience can be really empowering, because at least there are nuances of remembering that you also matter, of feeling justified in realizing that you deserve more than one relationship. Depending on your specific temperament, your life and your family experiences, as well as your concrete breakup, your anger may be directed to your partner, to the situation or to yourself. The good news is that your anger, no matter where it is directed, is meant to empower you, whether you choose to see it that way or not. When anger becomes accessible to you, it can provide direction and create a sense of vitality in a world that has been cushioned by loss. It can also remind you that you deserve more. Even anger towards oneself, however paralyzing and self-destructive, is still part of the grieving process.
This is the kind of acceptance that, when it occurs at the beginning of the process, may seem more like a surrender. You are holding back the end of the break because you have to do it, not because you want to. Either you or your ex has developed enough awareness and control at this point to recognize that the relationship has no future. Over time, this initial acceptance, often tenuous, becomes more substantive, as both begin to recognize, independently, that there are limits that at least one of you must maintain in order for the break to be maintained, because it is necessary. Finally you are understanding that it is not good that you keep trying.
As acceptance deepens, moving forward requires redirecting your feelings of hope, from the belief that you can save for yourself a faulty relationship to the possibility that you are just fine without your ex. It is discordant when you are forced to redirect your hope from the known entity of the relationship to the abyss of the unknown. But this is an opportunity to redirect the life force of hope. Anyway, hope is somewhere in your reserves and you will have access to it again as you continue to allow a significant distance between you and your ex.
The stages of pain that follow any trauma, including ruptures, can occur over the course of minutes or even seconds, over days, months or years, and then change without warning, leaving you without foundation, especially at the beginning. You feel strange or disconnected from the world. However, like any emotional amputation, continuing in life means learning to live without that part of yourself and finding ways to compensate for your loss. In addition, he recognizes that there is a method and structure of this process of chaotic mourning. Knowing that you are not alone can help you overcome it. Your affliction is part of the human condition; without it, we would not be connected in the same way we should handle the many pains and losses that occur in our lives. As the grieving process progresses, it will begin to break through to a point where you can let it go in a more proactive and self-protective way, a way that you will eventually come to understand as a new beginning.
Learning to provide comfort when you feel distressed is one of the most valuable tools we can have in our toolbox. Every time you want to send a text message to your ex, better call a friend, suggest the experts.
It's great to have several people, so do not be content with the worry that your friend is tired of having to listen to the same things. You can even go a step further by affirming in advance what you need from your friends, be it quiet, understanding or help to look forward.
One way to process your emotions is to write them down. You can even go a step further by writing an honest letter to your ex. Include all the things you appreciate and the things that disappoint you. The letter is an opportunity to really say goodbye, and say all the things you never said or wished you had said. Write it as if you were not sending it so you can write freely and take your time. But more importantly, let your feelings flow as you write the letter. Let you suffer the relationship and feel sadness, anger, gratitude and anything else that comes up. Once you have finished writing, you can decide if it is worth sending it, but you need to remember that the purpose of the letter is to use it for your own affliction, not as a last attempt to get something from your ex.
facts, for example. Repeat it every time you find yourself in a place where it's easy to fall into a territory of negative thoughts and get out of control, like when you try to sleep. Or when you are traveling and you have nothing else to concentrate on. Turn to you, and say: okay, I feel scared and insecure - and then try to remember that feelings are not facts. Others mantras weather. As time passes, you approach acceptance, so use the mantra that is most useful to you.
When it comes to the loss of an important relationship, there are a variety of competing emotions that you may be feeling: shock, sadness, anger, fear and more. All these feelings are not only totally normal, but they are also necessary for healing. The possible problem is that we live in a culture in which we do not really want to feel, we just want to improve it. Instead of looking for answers to your emotions, we suggest that you lean on them. This could mean blocking the time for devout introspection (and, let's face it, a lot of crying) or simply giving yourself permission at the moment of feeling what you feel.
hug to feel good, you can release when you feel close to someone, even if that person is not a romantic partner. In the same way, new experiences can be the key.
Learn a new language, exercise your body and your mind, if you still do not. Go out and do new things. Embrace your friends. You need a shake of oxytocin from someone else. Having said all this, you want to focus on sources of distraction that are not bad for your mind and body in the long term. Consider that if you are wasting every night on leaving and maintaining unhealthy habits, it may just be a temporary distraction that is ultimately self-destructive.
How to overcome a love break and regain peace
How to overcome a love break and recover inner peace
How to overcome a love break with less pain
How to overcome a love break and be happy again
How to overcome a love break with your ex
How to overcome a love break and regain harmony
How to overcome a love break and recover serenity
How to overcome a love break and love yourself